


In the Garden of Sunflowers

by JingNI



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Bad Poetry, Based on a song, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 17:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17430713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JingNI/pseuds/JingNI
Summary: “Say, mister.” Yukhei looks at the child in confusion. “Is there anything you would like to change?”Yukhei ponders at the question. There’s a lot of things that he wants to change, decisions he wants to rewrite, regrets that he wants to remove, and choices he wants to make. But there’s one thing that pops up, and he says it without a second thought.“I wish I was given a chance to take care of him,” he says in a somber tone.In Heaven AU where Yukhei is given a second chance, but will he able to change the future?





	In the Garden of Sunflowers

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing a fic so uh, I don't know what I'm doing tbh but eat on breadcrumbs and write cringey fanfiction. Also bad poetry. Really bad poetry.
> 
> This fic is based on JYJ's song In Heaven so go check it out in order to get the general gist of the story.
> 
> Thanks to [ Mayarene Rose ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradise_of_Mary_Jane/pseuds/Mayarene%20Rose) and [ stardustchenle ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustchenle/pseuds/stardustchenle) for being beta readers of this work! You guys are lovely <3

Yukhei’s finds himself walking in a garden.

He stops and stands, sunflowers in bloom all around him. The wind softly touches his skin as he looks up at the gray sky. Barefoot, he slowly walks towards the bench at the center of the garden. The grass beneath him roughly brushes his feet.

He sits down once he reaches it, grimacing as the person beside him looks at him.

“You seem sad,” the man says with a soft voice. Yukhei tries not to look, tries not to let his heart break in a million pieces because of the man on his side.

“Come on.” The man cups Yukhei’s cheeks and turns his head to the side so that they’re face to face.

Yukhei stares at him, tears forming, memorizing every line on the other’s face: his wide eyes, his short black hair, his puffy cheeks and his red lips. He wishes he won’t forget.

“Don’t be sad,” the man says, pointing at their surroundings. “The flowers are in bloom, the sky looks nice, isn’t that a reason to be happy?”

“I’m happy you’re here,” Yukhei answers, his voice on the verge of cracking. He holds the other’s hand tenderly, wishing for this moment to stay forever. “You don’t know how much I miss you.”

“I’m always here for you. ” The man caresses Yukhei’s face with a smile. “You know I love you, right?”

Yukhei nods, tears slowly falling down his face. He wants the warmth of the other man’s touch to be permanent on his skin. He wants them to remain in this place until the end of time and be happy.

But he knows it won’t last forever.

“I love you.” Yukhei hugs him, on the verge of sobbing. “I love you and always will. I wish I told you this a lot more times.”

“But you can’t,” the man says somberly, hugging Yukhei back. “Because I won’t be able to hear it anymore.”

The man slowly fades until he turns into dust. Yukhei desperately grasps at the air, wishing he could catch something, even just a tiny grain, but he fails. There’s nothing for him to grasp but his own skin. He breaks down, covering his face with his hands as he feels tears staining his face.

He wakes up sweating with tears falling down from his eyes.

*

Yukhei gets up from his bed with a groan. His dreams always end in the same way: with him crying, wishing he could turn back time or make the dream permanent.

It’s been a few weeks since Mark died.

The pictures of the two of them on the table are a painful reminder of what he could’ve done. Yukhei looks at them with regret, wishing he and Mark could’ve made more memories together. He sighs as he goes in the bathroom and gets into the tub, the feeling of hot water on his skin doing nothing to calm his nerves.

He brushes his teeth, glaring at his reflection in the mirror. He notices the bags under his eyes and the redness around his eyes staring back at him. He hates how his aspect reflects his current state, how weeks of mourning are not enough for him to move on. He brushes his teeth, the cold water in his mouth making him more awake.

He goes downstairs and tries to make breakfast, looking at the post-it from Mark that he doesn’t have the heart to put away on the refrigerator door. It’s one of the remaining things that proves that Mark was alive, that Mark was inside this house and that he was with him. Yukhei looks at the penmanship with a sad smile.

He eats his breakfast in silence, the image of Mark eating across him constantly in his mind.

*

His secretary greets Yukhei as soon as he arrives at the building.

Everything around him looks monotonous, the flashes of people in front of him does nothing to excite him. He responds to his secretary with a short nod, ordering her with the deep, serious tone he uses throughout most of his adult life. Walking to his office, he starts checking on various papers and plans that need to be addressed. The meetings go by without a hitch. Despite that, he constantly checks his phone, still hoping that someone would call him so that something will pull him off from his state.

He remembers the last missed call from Mark. He regrets not answering it, because if he had maybe Mark would still be here, calling him to tell Yukhei how his day is going. He gives his phone another gaze as he finishes his presentation in the meeting, not caring for the onslaught of duties he must attend for the rest of the day.

*

Shopping in the convenience store used to be fun, but now doing it alone makes the loneliness around him apparent.

He stares at his shopping list with a frown. It’s overused and beginning to tear at the corners, Mark’s smudged handwriting makes him reminiscent of their shopping memories together. He picks up the items absentmindedly, stopping by the ice cream stand after putting all the other items in his cart.

“Mister?” Yukhei looks to his side to see a child looking at him with wide eyes. What happens next becomes a mystery to him.

He finds himself with said child outside of the convenience store, eating ice cream. The child smiles at him. “Thank you for buying me ice cream.”

Yukhei cracks a small smile. “No problem, kid.”

“Say, mister.” Yukhei looks at the child in confusion. “Is there anything you would like to change?”

Yukhei ponders at the question. There’s a lot of things that he wants to change, decisions he wants to rewrite, regrets that he wants to remove, and choices he wants to make. But there’s one thing that pops up, and he says it without a second thought.

“I wish I was given a chance to take care of him,” he says in a somber tone. “I wish I could’ve treated and loved him better. But, it’s too late for –”

The child disappears, leaving Yukhei dumbfounded.

*

He wakes up and the cycle repeats.

He looks at his refrigerator and caresses the pictures posted, his eyes wandering to his last photos with Mark. He takes out some ingredients when the doorbell rings.

Who would visit him at this hour?

When he opens the door, he’s still a bit sleepy. He slowly stares the person in front of him, slowly widening his eyes when the details come in full view.

In front of him is Mark.

His black hair is as trimmed as he remembers. Doe gaze accompanied with a wide smile, making Yukhei scrunch his eyes in disbelief. Mark then pouts, pushing Yukhei away as he enters the house.

Yukhei slowly follows Mark, still not believing his eyes as the other puts down the basket he’s been holding.

Mark chuckles as he takes out his items. “How long are you going to stare at me like that? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

It isn’t far from the truth, Yukhei wants to say, but he is too dumbstruck to respond. Mark sighs. “Don’t tell me you have someone else in here.”

Curious, Yukhei looks at the calendar on the wall, his eyes widening at the day he sees. It’s as if time turned back, as the date is set a few months earlier. Yukhei gasps, his hands shaking before he swiftly hugs Mark, tears wanting to fall as he tightens his hold. The warmth and scent greet him as Mark holds his arms, surprised at the sudden embrace. Yukhei smiles widely, finally realizing that Mark is alive and in his arms.

“What’s gotten into you?” Mark asks as Yukhei peppers his neck with kisses. “Do you miss me that much?”

“More than you know,” Yukhei answers, happy. Mark looks at him in wonder before closing the gap between their faces with a kiss.

“I miss you too.”

*

“Jeno, have you arranged the next order of flowers?” Mark asks, currently arranging pots in their work room.

“I’m sorry hyung, but I’m still trying to figure out which ones to choose.” Jeno says with a frown. Mark stands up from his chair and pats him on the shoulder.

“You still have the night. Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Mark says with a small smile. Jeno returns it, with eyes shaped like crescents.

“How about you hyung, how’s life?” Jeno asks as they go back to work, carefully cutting thorns. He chuckles as he looks at Mark with a cheeky grin. “How’s your love life?”

Mark slaps Jeno’s back, blushing furiously. “S-Stop asking embarrassing questions! How about you tell me about your love life.”

“My love life is fine, thank you very much,” Jeno answers with a smirk. “It’s just that, you seem…pampered? Random stuff is always being sent here and they’re all for you.”

Mark sighs heavily, putting down his scissors with a frown as he remembers everything that has happened. Yukhei suddenly turned from being a cold man to someone warm, taking care of him endlessly like it’s the end of the world. It feels weird to him, wondering why the older man has become this way. Did he do something wrong? Did Yukhei do something wrong? It just feels weird to be attended all the time when Yukhei mostly ignored him before.

He can’t help but admit that this sudden change of routine is nice, but he had grown accustomed to how the older man rarely responded to his calls because he was too busy with work, or how they also rarely went on dates even when he tried to ask. Honestly, their relationship felt stuck, but now it feels different.

“Mark hyung!” Jaemin shouts, making him snap out from his reverie. He looks at the cashier with a confused look. “Someone is looking for you.”

Mark dusts off his hands on his pants, wondering who would visit him at work. He goes out of the room and gasps as he sees Yukhei staring at him with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. Jaemin inches closer to Mark as he whispers: “Do you know him, hyung?”

Mark slaps his own forehead, not knowing what to do. He hears the taller man chuckling, actually chucking loudly in front of him. He feels his throat dry as he tries to come out with something to say. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“You don’t want me to visit you? I’m hurt,” Yukhei says with puppy eyes that Mark sees as something endearing but deadly at the same time.

“It’s just that – don’t tell me those flowers are the same ones I arranged earlier,” Mark groans, seeing the familiar arrangement. The bouquet of white roses in Yukhei’s hands still looks fresh.

“I don’t know.” Yukhei says with a chuckle as he gives Mark the bouquet, which the younger takes with a confused look. “My assistant ordered this one for me, so be my guest to guess where it came from.”

Mark raises his brow. Jaemin taps his shoulder. “Uh hyung, you should get back on arranging those orders, it’s almost closing time.”

Mark flinches as he looks at the time on his watch. Not wanting to leave Yukhei waiting, he kisses him on the cheek hastily. “I’ll be home later, okay? Thank you for the flowers!”

Yukhei looks at him in awe as Mark goes back to the room. Dumbstruck, he touches the skin where Mark has kissed, the feeling of his lips imprinted in his memory.

Jaemin looks at Yukhei curiously. “So, what business do you have with my boss?”

Yukhei is snapped out of his trance and looks at Jaemin with a blank stare. “Oh uh, just visiting, I guess.”

Jaemin isn’t convinced. “Well, whatever you’re planning, don’t hurt him. He’s like the flowers he’s taking care of.”

Yukhei doesn’t need to be told twice.

*

“Are you sure you aren’t busy tomorrow?” Mark whispers as they go inside a bar, not exactly a good place, but Mark can’t think of any other place since he didn’t anticipate this sudden date. The taller man asked him out only a few minutes ago, to which Mark said yes. What he didn’t expect was for Yukhei to ask him where he wanted to go, gaining himself a look of shock from Mark. He isn’t used to choosing the place for their dates, usually going with Yukhei’s flow.

Dumbfounded, Mark decided to go to the bar downtown, remembering that there’s a mini spoken word event there. Yukhei is clad in his suit and tie, contrasting Mark’s blue sweater and white pants, and looks at Mark with a small smile. “I mean, I know you have work and all since you are the CEO and stuff, and I don’t want to bother you and –”

“Ssssh,” Yukhei hushes Mark by placing a finger on his lips. “Don’t worry about it. Just focus on our date.”

Mark looks down at the hem of his shirt, holding it tightly as they sit at an empty table. He looks at Yukhei, who’s trying to call a waiter to tend for their orders. He then moves his gaze towards the stage, where a small crowd is listening to the current speaker.

“So, you like poetry huh?” Yukhei comments, resting his cheek on his own hand as he sighs heavily. “I remember you joined the writing club in our university. Actually, why didn’t you continue to pursue writing?”

Mark scratches his head and looks at Yukhei, embarrassed. “I lost the passion for it, I guess.”

“But I saw you writing sometimes.” They hear the crowd cheering as the speaker ends his speech.

“Hey, don’t you want to recite your poem there?”

“It’s not an open mic –”

“Actually it is an open mic session,” they look up to see an old acquaintance coming towards them. “Hey guys, long time no see.”

“Renjun.” Mark groans as he sees his former club member.

“Hey!” Renjun shouts, bringing the attention to them. He points at Mark as he continues to shout. “I got a volunteer for the open mic!”

Mark grabs Renjun’s arm, glaring daggers at him. “Shut up! Don’t embarrass me!”

“Oh, you know you needed this.” Renjun reverses their arms position so that he’s now the one to hold Mark, dragging him towards the stage. “Don’t you want to tell the love of your life how much you love him like in one of the love poems in the stash in your drawer?”

“Hey! How did you know that?”

Renjun shakes his head knowingly. “It’s too obvious. Now, it’s your time to shine!”

“Hey wait!”

But Renjun already left the stage, leaving Mark to gulp as the eyes of the crowd are on him. He curses Renjun in his head for putting him in a tight spot, not expecting this at all. What makes him totally nervous though isn’t the stares of the crowd, but Yukhei’s eyes piercing through him. He feels his throat constricting him and his heart beating faster as he holds the mic, not knowing what to do.

“Uh, hey guys,” Mark starts, his voice shaky, smiling awkwardly at the crowd. “I haven’t been on the stage before and I’m totally unprepared for this so I’ll do an impromptu, I guess.”

The crowd cheers him on, subsiding the tension in Mark’s veins somewhat. He takes a deep breath, already thinking of the words to come out of his mouth as he tries to rack up what to say. Feeling his emotions, he thinks of the memories made in the past few weeks, trying to paint a big picture in his mind blending with the words he wants to say. After gathering his thoughts, he lets out the breath he’s been holding and starts to recite.

“Forget me not,” Mark begins, the words flowing out of his mouth smoothly.

_I have always wanted to choke you._   
_I want to choke you with my stems_   
_as I go inside your mouth,_   
_invading your body_   
_with blooming flowers of blues._   
_Your body is but a phantom to my touch,_   
_and I can’t help but be desperate_   
_to make a lasting impression,_   
_a permanent memory in your mind_   
_as I feel the veins in your body start to turn into stems._

Mark tightens his hold as the verses continue to blossom.

_Flowers bloom in your mouth,_   
_small, blue petals being coughed in the air_   
_as you struggle to breathe._   
_All I want for you is to remember me,_   
_but you always leave me unattended,_   
_not watered with your love_   
_as I crawl inside your skin,_   
_clinging onto the small amount of life left_   
_as you continue to cough petals,_   
_the coughs getting hoarser and more painful._

Mark’s voice almost falters when he sees Yukhei’s unreadable expression. His hands start to shake, but he needs to go on and not disappoint.

_You promised you will be the light,_   
_the one who will save me from the darkness within,_   
_but I can only respond you with madness,_   
_madness that you will never love me_   
_the same way that I love you._   
_How could you love the one_   
_who slowly poisons you as you are being hollowed,_   
_deprived of the love we both desperately need?_   
_I am only but a plant in need of water and sunlight,_   
_a pot of forget-me-nots caressing your face,_   
_your skin that feels like fleece on my stems_   
_as you stop coughing flowers,_   
_the seed in your lungs permanently in bloom_   
_and now turns into your heart._

Mark finishes with a breath, bows and immediately leaves the stage, covering his face in embarrassment as the crowd claps. Sitting as quickly as he can beside Yukhei, he doesn’t look at him as tears flow from performing.

He didn’t mean to pour his heart out. He didn’t mean to pour out his feelings and frustrations in that poem. It’s nothing but a badly written poem made to torment him, an embarrassment to his nonexistent record.

Yukhei holds Mark’s shoulder, shaking him lightly. “Hey, you did good.”

Mark covers his face again, responding in a muffled voice. “No, it wasn’t not good. This is why I stopped writing.”

“But it was good. The crowd liked it,” Yukhei tries to reason, hearing the next speaker reciting their piece. “Come on, don’t be like this.”

Yukhei pulls Mark’s hand away from his face, looking at him lovingly as he wipes the tears away from Mark’s face. His heart clenches at his boyfriend’s state, wishing there was something he could do to heal his heart, having a hunch on what the poem is about. “We still have to eat, you know? Come on, don’t be such a baby.”

“But, I want to be your baby,” Mark says, his voice barely a whisper. “It’s surprising you’re here with me. Am I dreaming?”

Yukhei shakes his head, pulling the younger man to his chest. He can feel Mark’s heart beating against his chest, a sign that Mark is alive, that Mark is right beside him. Cradling his head, Yukhei responds with a small smile. “No, you’re not.”

*

Over the next few weeks, Yukhei tries to take care of Mark as much as possible. They go on dinner dates, they watch movies every week, hell, they cuddle every night and Mark can’t help but genuinely like it. Sure, Mark complains about how much Yukhei’s changed and how much attention he gives him, but Yukhei doesn’t want to have regrets anymore.

“This is getting overboard,” Mark whispers, giving the newly arranged bouquet of flowers to Jeno. The younger man looks at him in confusion.

“Hyung, if you frown like that you’ll get wrinkles.”

“But I’m stressed!” Mark shouts, feeling the frustration kicking again. “You don’t know how it feels to have an overly clingy friend.”

“Don’t you mean boyfriend?” Mark rolls his eyes as Jeno gives the bouquet to Jaemin. “Besides, isn’t that what you wanted? To be babied? To be the center of attention to your man? I mean, you totally deserve it.”

“But it’s weird!” Mark shouts, hastily cutting thorns off of red roses as preparation for another order. “You don’t know Yukhei. He isn’t normally like this.”

“Then what’s he like?”

“Like the stereotypical CEO you read about in novels,” Mark groans. Jeno looks at him in disbelief. “I swear he’s a cold hearted business man who barely even notices me. Now he’s all over me like I’m going to die at any second! Like, hello! I won’t die that easily!”

“I thought you love him?” Jeno asks. Mark sighs heavily.

“I do love him,” he answers, looking at Jeno with a sad smile. “I love him so much.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I guess I’m just not that good for him,” Mark answers, gripping the scissors in his hand tightly. He chuckles bitterly. “He could have anyone he wanted but instead he chose someone like me. Me! Who would pick someone like me? Me who can’t cook for him, who can’t go to his prestigious parties, who isn’t on the same level, someone who doesn’t deserve him. I’m uninteresting and bland and he’s all for that glamorous life.”

“But he chose you,” Jeno says, rubbing Mark’s shoulder tenderly. “You just aren’t used to having your love reciprocated.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.” Jeno gives Mark a pat on the back. “I can’t believe I’m more bothered by the fact that he’s actually being affectionate these days.”

“Just give yourself time, hyung.” Mark looks at Jeno in disbelief. “I think the two of you look cute.”

“Haha, thanks.” Mark shrugs, then slaps Jeno’s back playfully. Jeno winces, but smiles warmly at him. “Now come on, these flowers won’t fix themselves, you know?”

*  
Mark stares at his lap as jazz music plays in the background of the fine dine restaurant. Wearing a suit makes him feel uncomfortable, wary of the people around him. He glances at his watch, noticing that Yukhei is already late. He looks around, startled at the interiors of the place, filled with black and gold furniture. The murmurs of the people around him only bring him nervousness, and he starts to fiddle with his own fingers.

“Sorry I’m late.” Mark looks up to see Yukhei approaching him in a newly tailored suit. He can’t deny that he looks good, even more attractive than usual. Yukhei sits across Mark, immediately holding his hand softly. “I just finished something at the office.”

“No problem. You’re not that late.” Mark chuckles nervously.

The dinner proceeds peacefully, something that Mark enjoys. Yukhei orders his favorite foods and they talk comfortably, something they haven’t done in a long time. Mark knows he should enjoy this and be happy, but he can’t help but think that this won’t last, that there is something amiss. There must be a reason why Yukhei has been so damn nice these past few weeks, because how can a cold CEO turn into someone soft and gentle overnight? It baffles him, still not used to the attitude change the older man is displaying.

“So tell me,” Mark says, ready to ask him the question. “What’s got into you these past few weeks?”

Yukhei looks at him curiously. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Mark says seriously, setting down his utensils on the plate. “You’re being so nice and attentive these past few weeks. Are you doing this because you did something wrong and this is your way of hiding it? You weren’t like this before.”

Yukhei sighs, having anticipated the question. If he could only fix his past mistakes, if he could only change the way he treated Mark before, then maybe the younger wouldn’t doubt him and his actions. But he’s been given a second chance to fix this, to make things better for the both of them, and he would do anything to make Mark feel loved and taken care of.

“I just wanted to show you how much I love you,” he says, making Mark blush. “I know I haven’t been the best person towards you. I know you aren’t used to this, but I’m doing the best I can to be the perfect man for you, because I love you.”

Mark gulps. He didn’t expect Yukhei to be this emotional, but it makes his heart jump.

“I know things between us haven’t been good,” Yukhei continues, “I always ignore your calls, we barely date because I’ve been too caught up with everything else... I mean, I even missed your last birthday because I attended another party. I was stupid, stupid to ignore someone like you who is always there for me.”

“I know I neglected you in the past,” Yukhei holds Mark’s hands tenderly, looking at the younger with teary eyes. “So I want you to know that I love you, that I will do my best to be attentive from now on.”

He kisses Mark’s hands, savoring the moment. Mark looks at Yukhei fondly, finally understanding his actions.

“Come on,” Mark says, cupping Yukhei’s cheeks. “Don’t beat yourself too much. Sure, our relationship isn’t perfect, but always remember that I love you too, okay?”

Yukhei nods slowly.

They continue to eat dinner, laughing and smiling at each other as they enjoy their food.

*  
“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see,” Yukhei says, covering Mark’s eyes as he leads him to the surprise. Mark groans, hoping he’s close to finally seeing what’s in front of him.

“We’re here.” Both of them stop in their tracks. Sensing the perfect opportunity, Yukhei takes off his hands from Mark’s face. The younger man blinks, his surroundings slowly becoming clearer. When his gaze finally focuses, he gasps.

The garden of sunflowers greets him along with the bright, sunny sky. The afternoon breeze brushes along Mark’s cheeks, sunflowers swaying along with the wind. Yukhei holds Mark’s hand, leading him towards the large tree at the center of the field. They sit down on the bench underneath it, Mark still surprised at the sight in front of him.

Yukhei admires Mark’s look of amazement and studies his features, intending to remember this moment fondly someday. He looks peaceful, smiling widely as he let himself feel the atmosphere of their surroundings.

“They look so beautiful,” Mark says, their fingers still linked together.

“That’s not my only surprise.” Yukhei lets go of Mark’s hand and takes out a piece of paper from his pocket. “I prepared something just for you.”

Mark looks at him with a confused look. “You really are something, Wong Yukhei.”

“You give me too much credit,” Yukhei replies with a smug face. Unraveling the piece of paper, he motions for Mark to listen. “I know I have a bad way with words, but I swear I put all my heart and soul into this.”

Mark looks at the paper, noticing that Yukhei wrote a poem. “Then let me hear it.”

“Prepare your ears to bleed for this awful poem!” Mark laughs as Yukhei takes a deep breath, trying to remember all the practice he had before. Letting out an exhale, Yukhei stares at the words in front of him as he recites.

“In The Garden of Sunflowers,” Yukhei starts, his voice sultry and smooth.

_We are both in the dark,_   
_wishing for our wings to be healed_   
_in order to fly in the endless sky._   
_I am like Icarus,_   
_for I was too focused on flying_   
_that I failed to see how fast_   
_you fall to the ground._   
_You land on a garden of sunflowers,_   
_and soon your body turns into dust._

_The sunflowers start to bloom._   
_Under the sunlight, I see you born again_   
_into a majestic being, full of yellow hues._   
_Should I pluck you from your roots_   
_and be mine forever?_   
_In the end, I leave you to live,_   
_water you everyday,_   
_and live with you here._

“That’s too short,” Mark groans, leaning his head on Yukhei’s shoulder. “What happened to them after?”

“Well, I told you it’s bad,” Yukhei answers, patting Mark’s hair. “But I guess they live happily ever after.”

“But the other person became a flower,” Mark says, confused. “Why would the persona want to be with a flower when they can choose to let their friend be and fly freely?”

“Because the persona has been flying for too long,” Yukhei says, feeling pain in his heart. “In the end, what matters to him is to be with the flower forever. He’s been given a second chance and he doesn’t want to waste it.”

“So he chose to be the gardener for the flower,” Mark interwinds their hands, making Yukhei gasp at the sudden action. “But, the flower will wilt and he would be alone again. The second chance is all for nothing since the friend is meant to die whether he likes it or not.”

“But what matters is the gardener’s love for the flower, isn’t it?” Yukhei tightens the hold of their hands. “As long as they’re together, nothing else matters.”

“I guess you’re right,” Mark hums a small tune as Yukhei tucks some hair behind Mark’s ear, staring at him lovingly. “Hey, can we return here some time?”

Yukhei nods, smiling at Mark tenderly. “Of course we can.”

*

They get home and immediately go to the bedroom. Just as Mark puts down his items on the table, Yukhei immediately embraces him. He leans his head on Mark’s shoulder, his arms firmly holding Mark’s waist.

Mark’s eyes are on the old CD player, letting out a grin as he puts a familiar disc inside. As the song starts to play, he puts his arms around Yukhei’s neck as they slowly sway along with the tune. Sensing the action, Yukhei softens his hold on Mark’s waist. They slowly sway in the room, neither of them letting go. Mark crawls one of his hands towards Yukhei’s, holding it tenderly as the other hand lands on the older man’s waist. Palm to palm, they let themselves blend with the music, their bodies continuing to dance.

Yukhei misses this. He can’t remember the last time he danced with Mark, which is why he wants to make this moment last. He basks on the warmth of Mark’s hand, wanting to hold the other man’s hand tenderly for as long as he can. The way his arm perfectly wraps around Mark’s waist, the way their feet go smoothly along with the soft melody of the song, and how their bodies are tuned in as one, it’s something that Yukhei wants to remember, something he wants to capture and freeze in time.

He looks at Mark’s eyes, mesmerized at its brown hue. They’re always full of wonder, never dulling despite the hardships the younger man went through. They shine along with the moonlight, a beautiful sight to behold. When the chorus hits, Yukhei softly pulls Mark nearer, their bodies now touching each other. Mark then lets go of the hold and wraps Yukhei’s neck with his arms, leaning his head on the older man’s shoulder as they continue to sway along with the song. Wanting to see Mark’s face, Yukhei holds his chin and lifts up his head, staring at him lovingly. Mark smiles, savoring the dance as well. It is a moment both enjoy, a dance that they don’t want to stop, a night to remember.

They end the dance by slowly bridging the gap between their faces with a kiss.

It was a tender kiss, full of love.

*  
Yukhei tries to call Mark, but frowns when the younger man doesn’t respond to his calls. For some reason, he can’t help but feel anxious. Maybe it’s because of the presentation for today. He’s used to Mark giving him calls of support before every presentation, but he has been unresponsive. Yukhei shakes his head. Maybe Mark is just that busy managing his flower shop. Despite of that, the nasty feeling inside him doesn’t leave.

Yukhei feels tension pooling his stomach as he explains his plans for the company in front of the board of directors. He should’ve memorized this by now, but he can’t help but think that something is wrong and that he should be somewhere else and not here.

He glances at his phone on the table, feeling the scenario oddly familiar to him. Flashes of Mark’s gloomy face appears in his mind, and memories of the past crawls onto him uncomfortably. He stops talking and freezes, the onslaught of painful memories coming back to haunt him.

Today is the day that Mark is supposed to die.

He curses himself, disappointed at himself that he forgot about it. His stares at his hands shaking uncontrollably as the people around him start to ask questions. There are a lot of thoughts penetrating his mind, as the voices around him bleed along with the surroundings.

He did a lot to change the future so maybe Mark won’t die today, right? The circumstances have changed. Mark is in a better place now. Their relationship is stable and going strong. So why is he worried? Why does he feel that despite everything that he has done to change the future, he still feels that Mark is going to die?

“But the friend is meant to die whether he likes it or not,” Mark’s words echo in his mind. Clenching his hands into fists, Yukhei finally makes his decision. Against the looks being brought upon him, he runs.  
“I hope Mark is alright,” Yukhei thinks like a mantra, praying that he is still alive. He continues to call Mark’s phone, only to get voicemails in return. He leaves the building in panic, wishing that this feeling inside him is just brought by overthinking.

He goes to the site where Mark is supposed to die. Yukhei looks around, hoping to see Mark somewhere in this crowd, until his eyes land on a familiar sight.

He sees Mark waiting for the signal of the pedestrian crossing to go green, holding a pot of sunflower and listening to music with his headphones. Yukhei smiles triumphantly. Maybe he’s not too late to save him. Mark notices the other people around him start to cross the street and follows suit. Yukhei thinks his coast is clear until he sees a car driving too fast towards Mark’s direction.

Without hesitation, he runs as fast as he can.

Mark, as soon as he sees the speeding car driving towards him, freezes, letting go of the potted plant. The crash of the plant does nothing to snap him out of it. In his mind, he wants to run, but he can’t move his legs towards the other side of the street. Panic seeps inside of him as _I’m going to die_ invades his thoughts.

The car is merely a few inches away when he feels his body being embraced by another as the car hits them both.

*

_We are both in the dark,_   
_wishing for our wings to be healed_   
_in order to fly in the endless sky._   
_I am like Icarus,_   
_for I was too focused on flying_   
_that I failed to see how fast_   
_you fall to the ground._   
_You land on a garden of sunflowers,_   
_and soon your body turns into dust._

_The sunflowers start to bloom._   
_Under the sunlight, I see you born again_   
_into a majestic being, full of yellow hues._   
_Should I pluck you from your roots_   
_and be mine forever?_   
_In the end, I leave you to live,_   
_water you everyday,_   
_and live with you here._

_But the future can’t be changed, isn’t it?_   
_So I gave up my wings_   
_and turn them into petals and stems,_   
_so that we can be together_   
_from life until death._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! I tried my best   
> (´; ω ;｀) 
> 
> You can also talk to me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/happystarchenle?s=09) and [ curiouscat ](https://curiouscat.me/happystarchenle) uwu


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